5 replies to this topic

[vampirechronicles]

ok i got this from the friday funnies that i been subscribing to for quite awhile.

very funny trust me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Tide:



I am writing to say what an excellent product you have.

I've used it all of my married life.

As my Mom always told me,

it was the best.



Now that I am in my fifties

I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago,

I spilled some red wine

on my new white blouse.



My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how
clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new
white blouse as well!



I grabbed my bottle

of Tide with bleach alternative and

to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!



In fact, the stains came out

so well the detectives

who came by yesterday

told me that the DNA tests

on my blouse were negative

and then my attorney called

and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance
of my husband.



What a relief!

Going through menopause

is bad enough

without being a murder suspect!

I thank you, once again,

for having a great product.



Well, gotta go.....



I have to write to

the Hefty Bag people.

[philgorp]

there are some days when that tide would be very handy.

[Roadblock]

too many idiots, not enough bullets, eh Phil? I feel ya!!  

[rastaX]

TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and
asked For $20..00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly
aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each
time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she
needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her
husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained
that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and
he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another
position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they
were financially ruined.


Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years
of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed
him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2
million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in
the bank.


She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex
and that these holdings had multiplied and this was the result of her
savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her
husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his
voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would
have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut

[vampirechronicles]

rastaX, on 20 November 2010 - 02:57 PM, said:

TWENTY DOLLARS


That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut

sweet lol
i just woke up from being knocked out.

[philgorp]

yer so cute when you come around after you get knocked up