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For the record, I am sober right now.
I have this strange ability. I can shapeshift. Not physically, like a go-bot or a polymorph, but rather I can socially adapt to any situation. As with all superpowers, there are limitations. First, I must be in person. My ability to tune into a wavelength and take it over requires that I take a direct reading of the entire crowd. Second (and perhaps most important) It helps if I drink the entire time.
In person, as is fairly obvious over the internet, I am generally a low charisma sort of dude. People don't really pay attention to me, unless the situation demands precise logic or some kind of specialized intellect. Even then people don't pay attention to me. I am quiet, reserved, and scared of people.
Then people start feeding me alcohol - to see what I will turn into.
I'm at the bar the other night, walk in fairly normal (for me) and sit in my booth at the far end of the bar. A few pitchers of beer later, I'm on a first name basis with every single person in the bar, and I've got a handful of phone numbers.
I used to be terrified to initiate contact with other human beings. Truth be told, I still am. Then, somewhere between my first shot and my second pitcher of beer something clicks. I can instantly relate to almost any person in any bar. I've got an amusing anecdote about every possible subject you can think of. My tempo steps up, by my third shot I'm a cross between a rock star, a stand up comedian, and a tiger. I suddenly become a force of nature. Women want me, people like me, and they talk about me for weeks and remember me for life.
I don't know how I do it. I can pull off some fucked up shit, and come out looking like a stud. I once told a complete stranger that her outfit was terrible, and she should take it off. We spent the rest of that night together. I initiated a conversation with one lady by directly telling her that while I was trying - but failing - to not stare at her tits.
Old me would have had the shit beat out of him for that kind of behavior. New me pulls it off with confidence.
By the end of the evening, half the bar will have congregated over to my table. I am the man of the hour.
Bear in mind, I'm almost 300 pounds, I've got chronic halitosis, and I'm nothing special to look at - but the ladies swarm to me like I'm a millionaire with a 14 inch cock. This may seem like useless skill for an honest married man, but even if I am not trying to 'score' these skills have utility in every aspect of my life.
My newfound social confidence has enabled me to get a job for which I never applied, and for which I've never interviewed in person. It has enabled me to get training for free. It has enabled me to turn dead bars into hopping joints (usually in about 30 minutes). It has changed my life.
Growing up, I was the biggest geek in school. The fucking nerds wouldn't even sit with me. Up until very recently, I have had great difficulty talking with people I don't know in non business situations.
I'm not selling anything, or recommending anything. I don't have any books or advice to offer. I'm just relaying what has been one of the most dramatic transformations of my life. It's almost like my impending death has enabled me to cast aside all inhibitions and go for the gusto.
FUCK YES!
I have this strange ability. I can shapeshift. Not physically, like a go-bot or a polymorph, but rather I can socially adapt to any situation. As with all superpowers, there are limitations. First, I must be in person. My ability to tune into a wavelength and take it over requires that I take a direct reading of the entire crowd. Second (and perhaps most important) It helps if I drink the entire time.
In person, as is fairly obvious over the internet, I am generally a low charisma sort of dude. People don't really pay attention to me, unless the situation demands precise logic or some kind of specialized intellect. Even then people don't pay attention to me. I am quiet, reserved, and scared of people.
Then people start feeding me alcohol - to see what I will turn into.
I'm at the bar the other night, walk in fairly normal (for me) and sit in my booth at the far end of the bar. A few pitchers of beer later, I'm on a first name basis with every single person in the bar, and I've got a handful of phone numbers.
I used to be terrified to initiate contact with other human beings. Truth be told, I still am. Then, somewhere between my first shot and my second pitcher of beer something clicks. I can instantly relate to almost any person in any bar. I've got an amusing anecdote about every possible subject you can think of. My tempo steps up, by my third shot I'm a cross between a rock star, a stand up comedian, and a tiger. I suddenly become a force of nature. Women want me, people like me, and they talk about me for weeks and remember me for life.
I don't know how I do it. I can pull off some fucked up shit, and come out looking like a stud. I once told a complete stranger that her outfit was terrible, and she should take it off. We spent the rest of that night together. I initiated a conversation with one lady by directly telling her that while I was trying - but failing - to not stare at her tits.
Old me would have had the shit beat out of him for that kind of behavior. New me pulls it off with confidence.
By the end of the evening, half the bar will have congregated over to my table. I am the man of the hour.
Bear in mind, I'm almost 300 pounds, I've got chronic halitosis, and I'm nothing special to look at - but the ladies swarm to me like I'm a millionaire with a 14 inch cock. This may seem like useless skill for an honest married man, but even if I am not trying to 'score' these skills have utility in every aspect of my life.
My newfound social confidence has enabled me to get a job for which I never applied, and for which I've never interviewed in person. It has enabled me to get training for free. It has enabled me to turn dead bars into hopping joints (usually in about 30 minutes). It has changed my life.
Growing up, I was the biggest geek in school. The fucking nerds wouldn't even sit with me. Up until very recently, I have had great difficulty talking with people I don't know in non business situations.
I'm not selling anything, or recommending anything. I don't have any books or advice to offer. I'm just relaying what has been one of the most dramatic transformations of my life. It's almost like my impending death has enabled me to cast aside all inhibitions and go for the gusto.
FUCK YES!
THANKS
